The air is electric with lightening as I close my day. There has been a bleak spring drizzle which did not prevent me from getting out to enjoy a walk on this day. I sold a couple of paintings to someone I used to volunteer at a soup kitchen with. Then I went about enjoying my day with fewer of the inner psychic pressures than I generally feel. It feels like I have been released from all that was holding me back.
Over the years I have experienced many mystical, magickal, and spiritual things. I have been guided to this current place I am at which brings both joy and puzzlement to my mind. I have been on a particular path since the close of the year 2012. Year 2012 was the year that Obama was elected for his second term as president of the United States. I had been in Philadelphia on the night of the election. I spent election night crowded in the living room of a backpackers hostel sipping wine with virtual strangers. This was not an evening where I bothered with making sociable conversation.
It is now 2016 as I type these words while silently observing the dramatic changes which unfolded in my life over that course of time. Much magick has entered my world. A world which is now changing as a parade of silly hopefuls compete to become the next president of the USA.
My life is about to go through the next series of changes as I spend my very last month in this small bachelor apartment in Parkdale in Toronto. This apartment has contained me as I eventually emerged a new butterfly from a tight cocoon which had held me like a straight jacket.
My bold start to my new life began as many chaotic events in the last legs of 2012 forced me to change into a new person. I was 36 years old at the time. Many years had I tortured and tormented myself with a very negative outlook which had become like quicksand. So slowly had I sunk into a world of disbelief in the future, utter despair, and complete hopelessness. As I exited 2012 I began to believe that there still was a chance for true magick in my life.
Many people assume that a mystical life is one in which we grasp wisdom which can be readily applied in life. Falling into the mystical world is much like swimming in a cold lake. We must first become accustomed to the temperature. We must adapt.
My first experiences as one who peers into the other side were quite fantastic. It seemed that a wonderful life had been laid out before me. It was believed inside me that I possessed profound gifts which would one day lead to a golden life. My sharp intuition I believed would guide me to a life of financial comfort and pursuing my dreams. I had embarked on a spiritual path and some otherworldly power had decided to open the veils for me. Surely I must have been special. Surely I must have been destined for great things.
A life easily unfolding into something part of a grand picture was partially what I expected. In the paradox of reality we always have our shreds of doubt. While one side of our spirit believes that all is about to unfold into a grand scheme of perfection, there will always be the doubtful side which will not agree.
My mystical experience was something I had to learn to navigate. It was like learning to ride a bike except that more humans know how to ride a bike than those who know about mystical experiences. Teachers were few and many could quite rightly be distrusted. In all of my experiences the greatest teacher was that of experience itself and perhaps the forces and angels which guided me along the way.
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